Jolly Astrology – Mon 27 June 2016

Hi folks!

This week’s show starts with a bit of Psychic Q&A, a message from our sponsors at Shit-Co, followed by Jolly Astrology for the week starting Mon 27 June 2016.

Make sure to keep the questions coming!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Your fart stanks bring all the boys to the yard, and they’re like, damn girl, what is that? Dead vegetables?

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

The smell from Aries’ yard will seep into your star sign this week, and you will have issues focusing. In fact, it’s so bad it may verge into Gemini causing some interesting things to come.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

The Aries polluted your air; don’t worry, it should all blow over later this week. Phew!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You will achieve your lifelong ambition; meeting one of the members of Hanson; the older one, you know the one no-one really liked? Yeah him. Later in the week you spend most nights at home…fapping. Fap. Fap. Fap.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Fap. Fap. Oh wait, you don’t need no fapping girl! You have perfect hair! Fap. Fap. Haha, kidding…maybe.

Virgo (August 22 – September 22)

Fa…nup! Got ya! You’re so bad you ain’t even fapping! Get pretty, get laid, goodnight, damn virgin!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Fap, fap, lemonade…hang on! I think there’s something wrong there!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

This week you will win an erection, I mean elect…no, no, an erection!

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Whoa, you’re walking on sunshine! Yeah, better get some shoes or sunscreen or something…weirdo!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

If a fart occurs in the woods, and nobody’s around to smell it; did it make a sound?

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Like I said last week! No stars for you! One year..okay one week!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’d have thought since most of the stars this week were about farting and a bit of sex and fapping, that you’d be having a huge sexy mess of a week; but no…still just figuring out how to get that gum off your shoe.

You Win! I Rock!
Goodnight Seattle!

10 thoughts on “Jolly Astrology – Mon 27 June 2016

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