Jolly Astrology – Mon 25 July 2016

Hi folks!

This week’s show starts with a bit of Psychic Q&A, as usual, a message from this week’s sponsor, those telepathic testicals over at Psychic Balls, then Jolly Astrology for the week starting Mon 25 July 2016.

Hope you enjoy!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You’re going through all this pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they’re gone so fast.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

All your life you had to stand in line
Still you’re standing on your feet
All your choices made you change your mind
Now your calendar’s complete
Don’t wait for answers
Just take your chances

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your Prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Well You started off with nothin’
And you’re proud that you’re a self-made man
And your family all come callin’
Slap you on the back and say
Plea. Ea. Ea. Ease, plea. Ea. Ea. Ease

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You, you are so special
You have the talent to make me feel like dirt
And you, you use your talent to dig me under
And cover me with dirt

Virgo (August 22 – September 22)

If you’re lucky you get to ride in a gold meteorite
If you’re not, you get a mouth, a mouthful of red kryptonite
You better move over
Here comes a super-nova

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You deserve the best in life
So if the time isn’t right then move on
Second best is never enough
You’ll do much better baby on your own

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Now you don’t talk so loud
Now you don’t seem so proud
About having to be scrounging your next meal
How does it feel, how does it feel?
To be on your own
Like a complete unknown

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Saturn ascends, choose one or ten. Hang on or be humbled again.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Yo I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha I wanna ha, I wanna really
Really really wanna zigazig ah.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

You Win! I Rock!
Goodnight Seattle!

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