Jolly Astrology – Mon 22 August 2016

Hi folks!

This week’s show starts with a bit of Psychic Q&A, a message our sponsors at Dafuq Industries, followed by Jolly Astrology for the week starting Mon 22 August 2016.

Make sure to keep the questions coming!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ve always been interested in products sold on infomercials. Hey, who isn’t?! Right? Well, this week I sense your friends making fun of that real bargin of an electronic hat that improves vitality. Just see who has the last laugh now…just you wait and see.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Purple. Gold. Lilac. Silver. This week, you will endeavour to learn more about colours, and this is just my way of helping you on your way.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You will be asked to keep a secret this week; it’s a surprise party for a close friend, so don’t let the cat out of the bag. You’re allergic to cats. Remember?!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

So…you did do some painting after all…okay, so it might not have been a masterpiece, AND, it might have just been the toilet bowl, but hey, do you think Van Gough found success overnight? No!

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

It’s going to be a relatively quiet week ahead for you Leo, and I have one simple way to liven it up for you. Unmute the TV. Thank me later!

Virgo (August 22 – September 22)

Your love of Vaseline is going to cause a stir this week at bingo. Never fear though, because you’re going to win! Also, your friends are going to ask you if you greased the numbers up…but that doesn’t make sense, and your friends are silly anyway!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Did somebody say strudel? No! They said struggle! And really, if you’re going to confuse words so easily, one can only wonder how it won’t be a struggle!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

I know, I know, nobody gets your dark sense of humour. Not even you…yep…more missiles!

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Most people don’t know this, but you’re a real winner, especially when it comes to being a lazy little SOB who doesn’t care about anyone!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

I am intrigued by your desire to throw marbles at cyclists as they go by in the mornings. Hey, if they woke me up each morning at the crack of dawn, I’d probably do something similar, so, you go grrl!

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

So…it’s come to this…or that…wait…what game is this again?

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Your curiosity of the world around you is astounding, but really, don’t you think it’s a little odd that you care so deeply for the politics of ants?

You Win! I Rock!
Goodnight Seattle!

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