Aries (March 21 – April 19)
This week you should be careful when entering caves or tombs, especially ancient Egyptian ones!
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You’re a star of the screen and this week will be your week to shine with your screen printing equipment!
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You’re a laugh a minute and this week you’ll understand why…you fly’s undone!
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Great things are bound to happen…maybe even one day for you!
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Duis possidebitis sorte, et subito iuvenis amplexuum lingua Latina eruditio; translated, this says This week you will gain a sudden expert knowledge of the Latin language and also lots of hugs!
Virgo (August 22 – September 22)
This week the stars suggest you might be moving somewhere, like from your desk to your car…hey, nobody said it would be a fun move!
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Stop the whining and start the dining…it makes it harder for you to whine with your mouth full!
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Like most evil genius’ you too need your very own nuclear powered pool cleaner but you’re in Russia so stop dreaming about that man!
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
This week you will stop a naked armed person and give them a jumper…good on you, it is getting cold.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
You will really raise the bar this week…without medication too! I see sexy times ensuing!
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Get out of the cage this week you chicken coop! I mean nincompoop!
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
No way is this week going to end well for you, but you don’t like wells and not to mention, you have running water so what’s your go anyway douchebag!
You Win! I Rock!