Jolly Astrology – Mon 08 August 2016

Hi folks!

This week’s show starts with a bit of Psychic Q&A, a message from a couple of our sponsors, followed by Jolly Astrology for the week starting Mon 08 August 2016.

Make sure to keep the questions coming!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Seriously Aries, what DID I say? Do you even remember? Cause I don’t! Do more of that, then try the other things I may have mentioned.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

The waves are coming and going, and so are the sales! Or did I mean sails? You know what, hedge your bets, get ready to sail at a moments notice, but also keep your wallet at the ready!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Do you even know what a Windango is? Don’t give me that look either, cause I sure as hell have no idea! Okay, so I Googled it, and let me just say this: don’t go there grrl!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

To be, or not to be; ahh screw it! Don’t hesitate over such mundane, mundanities; just go. Do. Be! Wait, this almost sounds like good advice, so I would also suggest starting a new extreme sport where you combine scuba driving and bungee jumping. Like. What. Could. Go. Wrong?

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Don’t eat too many burritos this week, just eat many…I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out the delicately fine line between many, and being stuck on the toilet for hours at a time.

Virgo (August 22 – September 22)

You should draw more! No, wait, less, I mean less! You talentless schmuck!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

This week you should invest in monkey business; I got a good feeling about this one.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You know you’re a world class evil genius; yet somehow, you’re seemingly unpopular as well, I don’t know man, just get it together okay! How else will you win Miss North Korea?

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Remember that song, the one that goes on and on my friend? Yeah? Enjoy your week ahead.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Last week you a had a party to end all parties, if only we were talking about the Liberal Party, okay, so go clean up now, this place is a real mess!

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Well, right about now, I’m running out of steam, never fear, you’ve been running out of interesting for ages!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Something nice, something nice…hey, I’ve heard others say that you have a nice personality…when I was on acid!

You Win! I Rock!
Goodnight Seattle!

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