Jolly Astrology – Mon 04 July 2016

Hi folks!

This week’s show starts with a bit of Psychic Q&A, a message from our sponsors at Shit-Co, followed by Jolly Astrology for the week starting Mon 04 July 2016.

Make sure to keep the questions coming!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

This week will find you in a deep conversation with a mermaid. Later this week you will stop acid. Good for you!

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Many things will happen this week; mainly mundane. Enjoy!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Later this week, once you reach level 70 of that game you’re currently playing, you will feel wonderful. Then you’ll regret not studying for that pop quiz. Epic…fail!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Where’s the toilet paper, you ask? Who cares?! Look at me in my awesome Egyptian mummy costume!

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Not to sound biased, but this week your going to have a great week! Lots of money, stuff, other stuff, and more importantly top quality gold stuff!

Virgo (August 22 – September 22)

That milk I put in your coffee the other day; yeah, it was off. Hey, it was that or go to the shops and buy more…I’m lazy. Prepare for loose stools.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Want some extra cash this week? Become a carpenter and put those loose stools back together.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your weekend didn’t go as planned, but you never know, you’re a smooth operator, and next week might see you as the Prime Minister of Australia; then again, it might not.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Stop staring in the mirror this week! Your human side is becoming strangely attractred to your horse side; that’s beastiality man!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You’ve always dreamed of owning your own paddle steamer; instead you’re just going to leave a steamer at someone’s front door…well…you’re half way there.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Your rock band isn’t going anywhere. Well, apart from the local burger joint and back to your garage!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Nothing much to add here, except that you’re doing better than all Virgos and Aquarians this week. Take that to the bank and talk to someone there about it.

You Win! I Rock!
Goodnight Seattle!

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