Jolly Astrology – Mon 01 August 2016

Hi folks!

This week’s show starts with a bit of Psychic Q&A, a message from our sponsors at Dafuq Industries, followed by Jolly Astrology for the week starting Mon 01 August 2016.

Make sure to keep the questions coming!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

This week. Don’t. Just don’t. You don’t even know what the point is, and to be fair, neither do I!

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’re like an Egyptian, in so many ways; so many, in fact, I’m not going to go into the finer details at all, except this: Don’t try walking like one, that’s the one, and only difference you have.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Laugh it up seahorse! See, or sea, who’s laughing next, or last, or…look, I don’t know, just stop laughing, you’re getting to be really annoying, you know?!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

This week, you will learn the importance of not judging a book by its cover. You will also learn that you can judge magazines and DVDs by their covers though! You go grrl!

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Data security is probably one of the major lessons you will learn this week. That and broccoli does not go with ice-cream! I mean, come on! What were you thinking?!? However, you, will then discover, that broccoli ice-cream, is totally a thing! Like seriously!

Virgo (August 22 – September 22)

Be strong, and allow the force to be with you, this week. Be it magnetic, or gravitational, who knows, that’s beyond the realms of Astrology!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’re a funny person, you know that? No? Oh, yeah, you are! Anyway, take care!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

No-one invited you to the school prom…what to do, what to do? Nuke South Korea, or Japan? Come now, don’t pre-maturely, I mean pre-emptively strike, okay!

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Wow, you sure know how to party…oh wait, no, that’s Capricorn, sorry, you have fun now, kthxbi!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You sure know how to party, unlike your Sagittarius ‘friends’, hah! This week, you will show them ALL how to par-tay!

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Uranus is orbiting your birth sign star child. Look, just drop the kids off at the pool and get on with your day, please!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

No-one cares, bye!

You Win! I Rock!
Goodnight Seattle!

2 thoughts on “Jolly Astrology – Mon 01 August 2016

Leave a Reply