Jolly Astrology – Mon 12 May 2014

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You are the class clown, it’s something you’ve been dealing with for some time but what about everyone else? Think about the children! Won’t you just think about the children?!

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

This week will prove to be much like other weeks except for the fact that you will be struck down with a bad case of Cantbefuctinitis.

Continue reading

Jolly Astrology – Mon 05 May 2014

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

This week will ring true with your inner knowing that you are an idiot…loveable but an idiot nonetheless.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Great times are ahead this week as you learn the finer art of not giving a toss.

Continue reading

Jolly Astrology – Mon 28 April 2014

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

This week you will discover that true happiness comes from the inside and not the outside. Make sense? No? Okay, then go ahead and fart…feel that warm puff of happiness right there? WOW, that’s ahhh…that’s a good one!

Continue reading

Jolly Astrology – Mon 21 April 2014

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

This week you will question why things never seem to go your way; my suggestion is to want the other things and then BAM! When they don’t go your way you’ll be happy. Thank me later.

Continue reading

Jolly Astrology – Mon 14 April 2014

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ve always thought yourself to be too funky and this week someone will confirm this for you by asking you what is that funky smell?…oh oh!

Continue reading

Jolly Astrology – Mon 24 March 2014

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You will meet someone who thinks just like you. What’s that saying? Great minds think alike? Then again, sometimes idiots hang around with other idiots.

Continue reading

Jolly Astrology – Mon 17 March 2014

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

I am sensing big things for you this week, like weight, debt and hate, check back next week for some better news…or not.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

The dragon of the north is rising in the east and is ever so confused, as am I about your week ahead so tread carefully and don’t eat raw chicken.

Continue reading

Jolly Astrology – Mon 03 March 2014

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You are not a rocket man, no matter how hard you try.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

The guy in the car outside your place is either a government spy, stalker or just…and this is the best one, some guy in a car who has nothing to do with you nor cares about you.

Continue reading